Mental State of Mind
by Arithena
Summary: Sasuke has given up on taking care of his mentally ill brother, Itachi. After a recent attack Itachi is committed to a facility and Sasuke tells his story of the struggles of caring for his brother to his uncle Madara.


So, I graduated from college. Hopefully, I will have more free time to upload NEW chapters to old stories. I hope the new generation of fanfiction readers will enjoy this old classic of my reedited.

Chapter 1: ...My Brother...

I can no longer deal with this... I can no longer deal with him. My brother was always holding me down in life, not once had I ever had time to myself, talk to other people or even had to be alone with my own thoughts. No, he tends to let me suffer along with him sharing his annoying psychotic delusions.

No one ever 'did' said caring for a man diagnosed with more than one very severe psychiatric disorders was suppose to be an easy task, but it was no task for someone my age...someone who had to drop out of high school durning my junior year. I could complain that it wasn't fair, how it isn't my responsibility then again who was there to complain too? My brother's imaginary companions? No, can't go to my parents, they have died years ago. And I can't go to the authorities or they will put him in the cheapest nut home there is.

Everyday, I thought about this. I thought about running away and leaving my brother behind not caring what will happen. I was risking his safety and the people who will come in contact with him safety as well, he really couldn't help seeing the terrible things he sees or hear the awful commands he was told to do. This was his life though it ALWAYS effects me. I had two options-Stay and continue to throw my life away for someone I honestly do love dearly or escape for a better life.

My right hand was on the knob of the front door. Selfishly but sanely, I choose to live my life the way I want to, find a living on my own and once I make enough money I will find Itachi a nice housing community that accomidates for people with mental disabilities and illnesses. Yeah, that sounds nice. I turned the knob slowly so the creak won't be heard though the cheap two bedroom apartment. Each second my heart beats faster because of fear of the life that meets me ahead on and for my brother... a deep breath calms my nerves. I almost completely turned the knob when I heard his voice a few feet away from me shouting in worry.

"Don't leave me! Please, they want to hurt me again!"

I froze.

'Dammit I took to long to leave' I cursed at myself. I turned and look at my deranged sibling. His once soft dark hair became dull and unkempt, his skin became pale white and he looked as if he hadn't slept in years. He held his arms out towards me to show that he had once again scratched the skin of his lower arms off exposing trails of flesh and blood. When he does that its a sign to he sees maggots under his skin and he fears something dark. I shook my head, or he was doing that for my attention. He's crazy but, he is a very smart or should I say clever man.

"Stop it. They are not real, please don't harm yourself anymore." I said it in the most calmest tone I could do. I let go of the knob and completely turned to him, not surprisingly his eyes weren't on me but on his feet. I then hear him silently mumble something incoherent. He's getting out of control, I stretch my arms out to slowly make sure he doesn't panic and think I'm going to hurt him. I held his face up and brought it to mine, though he was still quietly mumbling to himself. I gave him full eye contact so he would give me his full attention. It made me sad that he had to deal with this for probably his whole entire life.

"I can't take care of you. You can't get better, you are too sick. I promise I will visit you and check on you ever once a week" His eyes open wide in complete shock. He began to tremble, I noticed his eyes were switching from me to a foreign nonentity. "Please, don't make him leave." He'd whispered thinking that I won't hear the conversation between him and invisible person.I looked at his face a bit closer and realized he was under psychosis.

"Sasuke, forgive me if I ever became a burden to you! But, please stay... it gets much worst when I am alone. Don't let me suffer alone." He said frantly, he moves in and grabs my left arm in a tight clutch. I hissed in pain a bit and he loosen his grip just tad. "Sasuke, if you're going to leave..." he leans in. "Take me with you," Itachi looks around the room before saying anything else. "They're watching us, lets leave now while things are quiet."

I broke away from Itachi and step far away from him while slowly rotating around him till my back was facing the hall to my bedroom instead of the front door. To be honest I was getting quite scared, I had a strange feeling this time was different. "Sasuke! Don't!" His hands wrapped around my neck tightly, tears ran down his face. He was trying to kill me! I pushed him off me and quickly as possible.

"Get away from me you freak!" It stop my sick brother at his tracks. His face turned red with rage and he began to grind his teeth like a savage beast. I forgotten that that word was a taboo word to him, that it gets him stirred up. I didn't mean to call him that but I guess sorry can't fix the situation. He grabbed my arm and held a very tight grip on it.

"You're working with them, aren't you? I knew everyone was out to get me and you are part of the plot?! "He screamed at the top of his lungs. I was getting scared. I don't know what he was talking about, then again I expect a sentence like that to come out his mouth.

He is not a rational man, not dumb just irrational. "I don't know what you're talking about! Please calm down! Let me go and I will call for a doctor." I said in response to him.

"Bull, you're working for them! They are sent to put machines in my head to control my brain and tell it to do things. God, I can hear the voice laughing at me! Sasuke, why did you try to run from me? My friends said you hated me? Was it the man who told you to go away? " He said, his speech or thought process was everywhere. Its like one thing can't stay on his mind for him to think properly. He then again looked at my arm, he gently brushed his fingers on my lower arm. Trying to get a feel for it... and I screamed in pain.

"He told me to do it Sasuke. I had to do it in order to protect you, look can't you hear them talking. Of course you don't no one ever does." My brother had broke my arm, I grab it and went down on my knees. The pain was terrible, I could feel the sweat going down my head and neck. It felt like my entire arm was just set on fire.

I don't think Itachi knew what he had just done, he just mumbles as he walked inside the kitchen. I took this as my chance to get up and call for help. I can no longer keep this secret, Itachi was really going to kill me. I stood on my two feet and grabbed my cell phone off the table stand, by then Itachi was standing by the kitchen door angrily scaring himself with the knife and crying at the same time, I didn't know what to do. I want to help, I really do! But, he was completely insane!

My options were to call the police, take the knife and risk getting stab or run like hell.

"Look, I'm doing what you told me..." Itachi whimpered the pain was too great, but he still dragged the knife down his arm.

This was just too painful to watch him do this to himself, I open the phone and dial 9-1-1. "Hello, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. I'm reporting my older brother he's is in need of psychiatric attention and I need the police before he harms himself anymore. I ..."

"Sasuke! NO!" Itachi yelled he ran after me with the knife in his hand. I was not to far from the bathroom, the closest safe place I could get to. It had no windows but I will take my chances. I hurried in and locked myself inside. There was nothing for me to use to protect myself, my only hope was for the police to get here on time. Itachi was banging and trying to get the door open. I was just lucky Itachi didn't have his mind straight or he would of figure out a way to knock it down by now.

"Sasuke, open up! I have to get it out of you! I have to cut it out of you!" Itachi irrationally screamed from behind the door. "Sasuke, please I'm here to help you!" His voice was getting more and more frantic, I could hear him trying to use to knife to break the lock. How long does it take for cops to get here. Its a life or death situation.

"STOP IT, PLEASE! JUST STOP IT YOU'RE SCARING ME!" No matter how loud I screamed Itachi would just go more insane. Poor Itachi, it must be hard to be born with a very sick mind. I don't know if I could live on through life like that. I would sometimes at night see my brother stand by an open window, he looked so depressed and I was almost certain he would have jump. But, he never would. He would look at me and tell me how much he was sorry he couldn't be the older brother he wanted to be. He wanted to take care of me, help me with homework and hang out like normal siblings. But, instead I became his caregiver. Itachi could never get over the fact that he was the one who destroy my life. To be honest, I always secretly hated him. But, it really was not his fault.

It seemed like thirty minutes has passed before the police had shown up. I could hear load voices yelling at my brother to drop his weapon. Of coursed he didn't, he was spewing out nonsense and conspiracies. At one point he asked the police to help him cut out my eyes.

"Please sir, drop your weapon. Nothing is going to hurt you anymore." I could hear Itachi starting to cry, he voice began to crack and he started to sniffle only a bit.

"They won't stop...the voices won't stop..."

"Don't worry, we have the paramedics here. They are here to help you, we all are here to help you. We promise the voices will stop, just drop the knife." I could here the police officer say the words "very good" to my brother and called the paramedics over to help strap Itachi in the stretcher and haul him off to the ambulance.

An officer stayed behind and knocked in the door. "Come on out now, he's not here anymore." His voice was deep but not threatening, I understood he wasn't here to harm me. I open the door and a man nearly door frame height with long spiky hair appeared right in front of me. He was wearing the standard blue police uniform and his face looked like he went through some type of hell in his past, the type of face that could tell a story.

"You must be Sasuke. I remember you very well, I'm your uncle...Madara." I shook my head no, I honestly don't remember or even care about him at the moment. What was going through my mind was mind was that my own brother tried to kill me. All because he was afraid.

Its been about two or three hours since Itachi have been placed under psychiatric evaluation, its mostly likely he would not be able to return home for quite some time. I didn't care, I no longer want him near me. I was tired of this shit, why do I have to be stuck with him.

One of the floor's RN inform me that he was under sedation right now and won't be waking up for a while, some crap like he would not stop trying to fight his way from the restraints or something. I sat outside the ward feeling drained and a little guilty that I called the authorities on my sick brother. But it was either now or till after Itachi killed me.

It was time for him to seek the help he needed after all these years of being untreated. Like I said I am not a caregiver, I know I sound like a selfish human being but I could care less if they keep him here forever. Whatever help me out of this hell.

Officer Madara, if I could remember his name correctly, came back with two Popsicles in his hand. I am not one who will go in for the sweets but I took the cherry flavored popsicle. I get hungry when I am upset. He himself sucked on a grape flavored. "I used to give these things to my kid brother when he was small, his favorite flavor was grape. My was raspberry, I grew to like the grape flavor later on in life. I remember when he would go through hard times a promise of giving him these little cavity sticks will help him carry on."

I stared at the floor, I really wasn't interested in his stories. I looked at my arm, it was wrapped up in bandages. I didn't get a broken arm but there was a hairline fracture on it. I could hear Madara clear his throat to get my attention.

"The doctors told me that you have scars and bruises all over most of your body in different stages of healing? Over all these years, how were to tolerate this sort of behavior? Why are you just now reporting this? We could of find help."

"I thought I could help him. I really thought I could help him..."

"Please, tell me more about Itachi's condition"


End file.
